On the Subject of Whether or Not Brazil Could Handle the 2014 World Cup

Well, there were plenty of naysayers. They said the stadiums wouldn’t be ready, but for the most part they were. They said the airports wouldn’t be ready, but for the most part they were. The worst airport problems were weather-related. Brazil’s glorified golden team had its embarrassing "senior moment," but by now most Brazilians have gotten over it. Yes, Brazil pulled it off. And Brazil did it the Brazilian way, which means that they did it at the last minute, they were a bit disorganized, but they did it with tons of good humor and warmth and caring and creativity. And style, lots of style. Brazil really showed the world a good time, a better time, I’d wager, than anyone has ever had at a World Cup before.

I’d also wager that nobody, but nobody, thought that the one place Brazil would really shine would be in Law & Order. I’ve written many times that Brazil is world-famous as a country where lawbreaking fugitives can hole up in peace, but that image may well be near to cracking. An impressive number of internationally-wanted criminals were captured during this World Cup, thanks to super cooperation between Brazilian police and Interpol. Let’s see, they arrested an Argentine "Dirty War" torturer and murderer; they arrested a long-sought after Mexican drug trafficker; they arrested a German tax evader who fled to Brazil two years ago; and all of these crooks, and more, now await extradition. Amazing how soccer arouses such passion that the bad guys are willing to risk their freedom to watch a game!

Gang that led to Copacabana Palace, FIFA's HQ

The Brazilian federal police also managed to do what no police force has had the balls to do up to now. They caught an extremely high-level gang, some of whose members have ties to FIFA, which has been selling tickets on the black market for the last four World Cups! FIFA is furious, and not because such high-level people are involved in black marketeering. Oh, no, they’re furious that the Brazilian police have been relentlessly investigating this crime, and are naming names and making arrests! Ironic, isn’t it — so many people thought that Brazil wasn’t ready for the World Cup, when it turned out it was FIFA that wasn’t ready for Brazil.

The great and all-powerful FIFA had little good to say about Brazil’s preparedness before the games started, but ultimately it was FIFA that failed in many of its responsibilities. Stadium security? They blew it in the first week, when groups of Argentine and Chilean fans without tickets crashed stadium barriers. Food service? Non-existent the first week or so of games. And even so, FIFA continued to prohibit fans from bringing their own food to the stadiums. Alcoholic beverage service? FIFA insisted early on that Brazil temporarily suspend its very sound law which prohibits the sale of alcoholic beverages in sports stadiums. Then halfway through the games Jérôme Valcke, FIFA’s general secretary, announced that he was shocked, shocked, at the amount of alcohol sold during the games and the level of drunkenness of the fans! Oh, Mr. Valcke, who was going to give whom a kick in the ass a few years ago?

　

Wake me when it's over . . .

And let’s not even mention that opening ceremony — bland, colorless and way below Brazil’s talents and capabilities. It was FIFA that insisted the event be contracted out to a third party, under the aegis of a Belgian choreographer. Nothing at all against Belgium, but — booooooring! Okay, it’s all over, and in the balance I think Brazil (the country, I’m speaking of now, not the team) was a winner. Even so, we can’t seem to stop the infernal countdowns. Get out your calendars! It’s 76 days to the presidential election; 746 days to the 2016 Olympics; and 1,423 days to World Cup 2018!

24 Days to the World Cup

One fine specimen, this Fred . . .

It’s official! The Brazilian 2014 World Cup soccer team has been selected! World Cup fever — always high in Brazil  — is now in overdrive, given that this year it's Brazil that's hosting. It's all World Cup, all the time, on television, on the radio, and splashed in newspaper headlines. But the question begs, at a mere 24 days to opening day, will this super-young, super-cute (if not outright handsome, I mean just look at Fred!) team have any stadiums to play in? Will their hotels be ready? On second thought, forget the Brazilian team, which will be as coddled as a team has ever been. For that matter, forget all the soccer teams, because FIFA has special, hand-picked employees in charge of the players. It’s the fans we should be worrying about. Will visiting fans, both foreign and national, be able to negotiate the airports? Will they find their way around the cities? Will they be okay?



One angry Blatter

FIFA has been badmouthing Brazil for months now, at the same time that they are apparently enjoying the highest profits EVER from a World Cup event. Life is full of such contradictions, right? FIFA’s president, the grumpy (but rich) Joseph Blatter, has harsh criticisms about all the stadium delays (four out of twelve stadiums have still not been completed), and he has gone as far as to blame these delays on the "sluggishness of the Brazilians." He really hit hard on this issue at a recent press conference, particularly since Brazil had — count them — seven years to prepare. Okay, hard not to concede his point. Blatter also criticized the lack of safety for the workers at the various stadium construction sites, and made sure to relieve FIFA of any responsibility for the ten deaths that have occurred. (By the way, have we heard one word, one whisper of a possible criticism on FIFA’s part about the 1,200 workers that have already died while building stadiums in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup?)

So where are we? We’ve got FIFA withholding 7% of ticket sales because they have no idea if the seats they’d like to sell will actually exist. (Installation, or rather, non-installation of seats seems to be the abiding problem at the four incomplete stadiums.) We’ve got FIFA unable to conduct the usual and necessary tests of lights, cables, communication setups, Internet, security preparations, food services, bathrooms — in short, everything that has to be tested before opening to the public. FIFA is livid. Want to move on to airports? We’ve got some beautiful new terminals, but if you peek behind the curtains you see roofs that leak, air conditioning not yet working, unfinished parking garages, no lobby seating areas (what is it with Brazil and seating?) . . .

One of Brazil’s most respected and award-winning journalists, Míriam Leitão, wrote a scathing article in last Sunday’s Globo. She wrote that a country should be going after two wins when hosting a World Cup, the game championship itself and the unparalleled opportunity of being a showcase to the world. Míriam gave sharp and well-reasoned opinions as to why she thinks Brazil has already lost its showcase opportunity, and is now merely "patching up its damaged image." The best Brazil can hope for now, she continued, is the actual World Cup trophy. That was one depressing article. But who knows? Maybe Brazil will actually pull it off. Just a few more days and the whole world will have the answer.

No stadium seating? There's plenty in the lakes!

And even though Brazil has not yet f@#&ed up the 2014 World Cup, people are already writing off the 2016 Summer Olympics as a terrible disaster. Rio de Janeiro is waaaay behind in its preparations. Just as one example, one of the solemn promises Rio made to the Olympic Committee was that it would clean up the lakes in Barra da Tijuca and Jacarepagua (where most of the Olympic events will take place). But these projects haven’t even begun. We’re 806 days out, and word is that even if they were to begin working today they wouldn’t be finished until after the Olympics. Here we go again.

What Russia did wrong at Sochi . . . that Brazil hopes to do right in Rio

Brazil watched the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, and not because Brazil is particularly interested in snow sports. No, Brazil kept an eye on Sochi with some butterflies in its collective stomach, because Brazil is — as we say in baseball — on deck. And although Brazil has a serious rehearsal coming up in the form of the 2014 World Cup in June, in many ways the preparations for that event have taken on a life of their own. Authorities seem to have given up somewhat on trying to keep the hotel prices in check (they’ve tripled), on trying to control the soaring airfares as well, on trying to push the still-unfinished stadiums to be finished before the day the games start, and in trying to keep a lid on the recent spate of violent street protests. Whatever happens at the World Cup is going to happen, but then Brazil will have two years to take a deep breath and get it together for the 2016 Summer Olympics.



Didn't take long for this error to go viral 

Brazil is of course completely immune to the problems Sochi had with its loose, sugary, artificial snow. Not pertinent to Summer Olympics. Not a problem. And Brazil is pretty cool on the stray dog problem. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of stray dogs on the streets of Brazil and no one’s going to put any of them to sleep. Brazil loves its stray dogs. So chalk up another one for Brazil. And we’re all pretty sure that the Opening and Closing Ceremonies will go off without any hitches. Brazil excels at The Big Show; after all, they put on an enthralling Carnaval spectacle every year. I think we’re looking at another positive for Brazil.

As for the inability of the Chobani yogurt company to ship its yogurt to Russia because it lacked proper customs certification, well — I’ll bet a carton of non-fat plain that Chobani yogurt can be shipped to Brazil, where any and all necessary paperwork can always be drawn up, stamped, certified and notarized, even if a little cash has to be passed under the table. I mean, if the U.S. can ship these non-food foods to Brazil, they can ship Chobani yogurt.

In addition to all of the above, the $50 billion that Russia spent on preparing for Sochi’s Winter Games is about what Brazil expects to spend on the 2014 World Cup and the 2016 Summer Olympics combined! So in many respects Brazil can breathe a huge sigh of relief.

No, wait, stop! Brazil isn’t getting out of the woods that easily. There have been a number of serious problems in Sochi, as the newspapers have described in painstaking detail. Just take a gander at Twitter’s @SochiProblems and you’ll see all about the five sports facilities that were still being worked on two days before the Games opened, and the hotels that were not ready (no water, no heat, no linens, no curtains, doorknobs that fell off or locked automatically from the outside), and the faulty Internet service. You’ll see pictures of open manholes and enormous piles of construction debris left around the stadiums. Some of that could happen here in Brazil too, and Brazil knows it. But Brazil will have a wonderful opportunity to test the readiness of stadiums, venues and hotels in the upcoming World Cup. I’m confident they’ll have all problems solved before someone creates @RioProblems — except for the problems they won’t have solved.